A632.6.3.RB - The High Cost of Conflict

Admittedly, I am aware that I need to work on my own listening skills. Active listening is one of the more challenging actions that is so critical to the decision making process. Though I am not the strongest of listeners I can recall an instant that I did give my full attention to someone and really witnessed the benefits from doing so.

I do find that I am a much better listener when I converse with one of my old managers. On a monthly basis I connect with my old manager just to catch up on work life and home life, I very much look up to her as a professional and a person, so I thoroughly enjoy our conversations. Also, my old manger is an incredible listener, she is the best listener I know, so through our conversations and the attention that she gives every word that comes out of my mouth, I am automatically encouraged and reminded to provide the same attention that she provides me.

During our last meeting I recall taking an abundant amount of notes, and walking away from the conversation with so much insight and value. By actively listening I really benefited immensely from the conversation. My old manager was providing me with some advice on being a remote worker and career progression, and because I was actively listening I walked away with so much value and direction. Honestly, active listening is immensely refreshing, and it is extremely eye-opening. Additionally, I am a firm believer in its not always about what you say but how you make people feel, and I know that one of the best feelings is that of being heard, the same feeling that my old manager gives me. Alternatively I know what it feels like to not be heard, I have had conversations where there is a telling pause from a lack of response from someone that I am speaking with. I speak with a great deal of my teammates on the phone, so it can be rather frustrating to finish communicating your thoughts and then to hear the pause and voice pick-up from your teammate on the phone that sounds far too similar to one you would hear from a teenager that you are conversing with that also happens to be playing an intense video game. There is a world or a difference in how deep a conversation can go when both parties are listening. Also in making people feel heard you can build greater trust with one another, and I am certain hat they would then feel more apt to share, which of course can be helpful to the listener.

I want people to feel like I am hanging on to every word they say because there is great value in what you learn from doing so. Additionally, I know from experience that when I feel like I am being listened to I want to provide the same courtesy to the other party, and that just makes every conversation that much more effective and valuable.